Are Things About To Get Boring? I Sure As Hell/ck Hope So.

I like boring.

I’ll show you what boring looks like.

Boring puts her feet on the floor. Boring gets the older kids to school on time. Boring takes the younger kids for a walk in nature before their school starts, even though they don’t want to because they’d rather eat cake and colour pages in before-school daycare for an hour. Boring looks at them running and jumping through the leaves and shouting with joy. Boring thinks to herself, “This was hard to get going, and none of us wanted to do it, but after Boring made up her mind and made it happen, everyone was happy.” Everyone that mattered, anyway.

Boring brings the younger kids to school on time. Boring drives home.

Boring parks the van. Boring walks in the house. Boring does a facepalm. Even one day without cleaning in a small room with a bunch of people living in it means dégolas. What ever that means. I’ve heard my French friends say it about messy houses.

Boring picks the cat up off the table. Boring gives him the leftover pizza to finish outside on the patio. Boring wipes the counters. Boring vacuums the floor.

Boring picks up coats and shoes lying around. Boring does a load of wash.

Boring finally cleans up the broken mirror. Yes. For real, a broken mirror. Boring marvels at the metaphors.

The funny thing is that the mirror wasn’t even broken by something interesting happening to it. It just toppled over and broke while the kids were wrestling, while boring was sober, obsessing over her own blog post.

Boring sees herself in what remains. She looks haggard. Old. A shower, that’s a good idea. Boring takes a shower.

Boring cries. A lot.

Boring gets out of the shower. Boring dries off. Boring puts on something fresh.

Boring admires the heaps of gilded leaves all over the patio. The leaves that were on the tree yesterday have suddenly fallen off. Must have been a big wind during the night. The tree is nearly naked now. Ready for winter.

Boring thinks her husband would be pleased if he comes home and the patio is spotless. She looks for the leaf blower. He’s a wizard with the leaf blower. But to her, the motorized yard tools in the workshop all look the same. They’re all the same colour at least: covered with construction dust.

Boring picks up a broom. And Boring begins to sweep.

Boring sure as hell/ck won’t have a splitting headache tomorrow, if she has anything to say about it.

I like Boring. I’ve got Boring’s back.

Thank you and I’m sorry. I love you. This is me getting up again. Even when “everything hurts and I’m dying.”

xo n



  • Dégolas” is actually “dégueulasse.”
  • I guess it will be kind of like painting by numbers. Image by Yong Chuan/Unsplash.
  • Process notes: Boring wrote this after beginning to sweep leaves. A lot of leaves. Is thinking about finding/figuring out the leaf blower. Says she can do hard things. Says she also knows these things aren’t supposed to be hard.

2 thoughts on “Are Things About To Get Boring? I Sure As Hell/ck Hope So.

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