I feel so tired. Just sleepy and dull and lazy and I just want to crawl into bed and pull up the covers. I don’t allow myself that though

Guilt would not allow me to enjoy it properly

So I believe I have overtaxed myself in the goals department

I published that list of writing goals on Bloomwords but I have secret goals too like being the perfect mother and wife and worker and also losing 10 lbs and having the perfect house and having it perfectly clean and also being able to be cool and fun while not drinking and writing perfect posts that are consistently witty even though wit takes me hours to generate out of thin air and I also would like to have the perfect shade of hair and ideally not grey but also perfectly natural and I would like for everyone to like me but never too much and I would like to be wildly successful and never have to deal with the consequences and perhaps more than anything I’d love to be able to not obsess over anything and instead just enjoy the present moment as I am doing right/write now and then be able to just hit publish without ever editing it and yet somehow that would get me everything I wanted in the end.

Yeah okay let’s try it

Xo n