I flew against your quickened seas
Beat early wings to the sound of your waves
You the liquid dream
That poured a vision into my tentative heart.
I dreamed of friendship from the start.
But I over-drank, stayed out past midnight,
Tipped your being into my soul
Though losing myself within you
Had not been my original goal.
A flight away, a flight awash,
I drowned in friend-ungained
And all I’ve got, for my besot,
Is a taste for further pain.
Can you wash away the pain
Can you wash away the pain,
If I drink you, again.
They say that love’s
But I didn’t know
That we were playing
I thought it was pods in the sea
A family of cosmic-merfolk we’d be.
But something changed in me
When you first lapped your stars
against my Tree.
Can I ever set you free?
Can you never remember me.
‘Cause change is still a dream…
and I’m awash in ink seas
from when you tattooed “mine” on me
then stripped me with
when I was unknown-playing with fire
in some sunless
(Billie Eilish – when the party’s over)
“I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that” – Billie Eilish
2020-03-03 18:45 – 2020-08-08 12:03 – this poem/song (mine, not Billie Eilish’s) is about wine-turned-word obsession and subsequent blog harassment – a seeming endless cycle of self-inflicted abuse (one can choose not to read/drink abusive input/ink). But things are never as they seem… and, Solvitur ambulando, as a friend once said.
Image: via Prints Variete via Esty.com (not affiliated)
Nadine inhales & exhales words & images from current vantage point in Zone of Emptiness, France. Thank you for reading. ❤︎